Must be the weather.

I think I must've been lacking something chemically in my body lately. I am just so tired and easily worn out and any little thing seems like a mountain. I have no motivation to do anything, let alone discuss and consider wedding things which seems so miniscule in the grand scheme of things.

But yesterday I had a convo with a work collegue and she knows a mutual friend and saw some pics from our joint 21st and she loved the candy buffet and what not. We got talking parties and I ended up writing a whole list of things she could do for her 30th birthday, from candy buffet, theme, colours, food/drinks and locations etc and it made me feel kind of better.

My Dad and I are also in discussions for my Mums 50th. She has never had a party, her birthdays usually go by as a quiet affair or a dinner out with closest friends. We also decided on a 1920's inspired Murder Mystery Party which is going to be a total surprise for her so ssssh! And now I am looking in what I can do to make a really awesome night for her.

Again feeling better. I think I just need to have something on the go.

I love to plan things but I think having something so personal and huge as a wedding was kind of getting at me. Plus work sucks and I hate having such a good work ethic as everyone takes advantage of it and money has also been getting at me. Where does it keep going? We have more direct debits than I can count on two hands and it's not even on anything fun. I get $20 a fortnight put on all the bills, water, gas, electric, mobiles and also on water and shire rates so hopefully when they arrive they are muchos less or maybe even in that magic word "credit". then on top of that we have my car loan, strata fees, petrol, groceries...... it all just gets to much and since I am the only one who seems to know how to manage the bills and stuff OH is of little support and he never seems to worry about how much $$$ is in the account or what is due when or for how much.

Sometimes it all feels to heavy on my shoulders and I sink. But it's ok now, cause I am remembering how to float.