Tuesday, January 12, 2010

A big bridely vent.

Since we got engaged in 2008 I have prided myself in being an efficient and organized bride. By July 2009 all I had to do was wait until I felt ready to select my Bridesmaids, see some people are what decorating idea’s and options we had for the reception and wait for H2B to choose his Groomsmen. Not forgetting hair and makeup and also waiting to 2010 to order my wedding dress.

Everything was all ticked off, Celebrant, Venue, Flowers, Invitations, Photographers, DJ … I had an image in my mind on what the day will be, I envisioned the reception. It was Marie Antoinette, Vintage, French, Decadent.

Maybe I should have chosen somewhere in Perth. Somewhere like The Grand Chancellor or there about. Somewhere that had the gold etching and an over the top ball room. Maybe then people would have easily fallen for my chosen theme. All I hear is No, Can’t do that, not a single, Sure, No Worries, Would you like that in ivory or gold?! People that worked to make my wedding dream a reality, after all isn’t that what I am paying them for? Maybe the decorators and planners don’t understand that down south. I expected something like…

Planner: “So what did you have mind?”

Me: “A Marie Antoinette theme, vintage French with tiffany blue and pastel touches, not forgetting floral and feathers and pure indulgence. Dessert buffet table similar to this….. *shows a pic* and I don’t want it to be like every other wedding with the chair sashes and the table sashes and the bombonierre no one takes home”

Planner: “You seem to have a great idea on what you want. What about…. Floral centerpieces in vintage inspired glass bowls with tea light candles in the tiffany blue but we’ll use aqua as it’s the closest available without going to blue or to green. We’ll gladly get that Chandelier centered above the dance floor and how about damask patterned photo frames we’ve picked up from antique stores and salvos for table number holders and this gorgeous stand for this scroll with your monogram on?”

Me: “It’s like you read my mind”

Jen proceeded with her wedding planning journey all the way to the happy ever after at the reception where everything was as she imagined it and didn’t care the tea light candle holders were a shade wrong as everything else was fabulous, the flowers fresh and fragrant, the bridal table set perfectly with the drapes over the ceiling not looking like every other wedding thanks to the amazing chandelier which sparkled in the down lights over head.

SO WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT THAT?????

Anyways, I had all the main things booked and the savings plan had started. I had worked it so I can a few months of weddingness and chill out and not become an over stressed border line Bridezilla.

Guess what. I failed.

I was right on track and then in November I asked my Bridesmaids. A decision I am already kicking myself over.

It then became apparent I should start looking for a decorator to get my vision into gear. But 4 companies later, all I am left with is comparing chair cover quotes.
My French Vintage Inspired Theme seems pointless with no one but 3 BM’s liking and agreeing on it. The 4th I don’t even know nor really care about at this moment in time. No one is ‘seeing’ it how I want it to be. Having a vintage looking birdcage and flowers like once kind of resembled the arrangement I wanted isn’t what I had in mind.

I am still not 100% on the dress. But what the hell does it matter? That one looks fine and everyone likes it and its flattering and crap.

I am sick of bending to be nice to everyone and make sure everyone else is happy even if at the end of the day I am going home and screaming into my pillow out of sheer frustration.

End of the year not only equals our wedding, but also Christmas and 2 other weddings. So now we are looking at refinancing or getting a credit card which = more debt but I don’t know how we are going to manage it all too still include a honeymoon of some kind.

I am looking for night work to be a shelf filler or something since my tradie H2B can’t manage cashies on the weekend as he thinks cause he works during the week, weekends are his time to do sweet fuck all no matter what anyone else thinks, needs to do etc.

I hate not having money all the time. I hate debt.
I feel bad if I whinge to people as it seems like I have it all and am still not happy with it. People always turn it around to make what was just put seem like I am the bad guy.

I am just so over it it’s not even funny anymore. And I think it’s more than just a moment of stressed out brideness.

Vent over.

So now I am looking at a stupid plain wedding. If people can get away with hideous balloons as centerpieces it surely doesn’t matter that much does it? Can’t have roses. They’re too expensive. Why don’t I just have candles? 3 candles, tied with a ribbon with those wishing stones around them? At least the future mother in law will be happy with that. But the candles have to be from Dusk as anywhere else gives her a headache.

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