Secret Session

Feeling oddly inspired to try on a wedding dresses I headed to Donnabella on Saturday for a secret session of wedding dress trying on and well... do you recognise this dress??

Yes, it is the one I tried earlier on in the year at the wedding expo in January. The one that hangs in the back of my mind .... it was there on Saturday. I tried it on again. I love it more than before. I think I may have found "The Dress"

From last time we met:

And the model in the dress:

I am nearly 100% certain that this really could be "IT"

I really need to get to Donnabella Bridal.....

They stock a range there called Glamour Plus and its wedding dresses for ladies 16+ and I have been checking their site and really really like the dresses below. Spot the one from the expo??? I really need to make an appointment to go check these out, so I can get the dress horror over and done with.

Dont think thats quite the right attitude to have when shopping for the wedding dress.....

Thoughts??

/\ Tiffany Blue Sash instead of the green /\

You can see all of these dresses here.

I was also playing on Davids Bridal the other day and came up with this.... I love the matching of it all. Cant help my OCD coming through lol though the faces scare me!!

The first dress.... now in digital ha ha ha!

Last month I did a happy wedding dress entry. (see it again... here) And the designer finally put it up on their website so now you can see how its supposed to look, I didnt have a hoop under it, or hair and makeup done and yeah... now you can all appreciate the dress for what it is! Beautiful.

And The Bride Wore..... Part Duo

My FMIL has offered to pay for my dress. A lovely gesture. She has set a very generous budget for it and H2B is always on about involving her more. So when the Dusk Bridal Fair happened we asked if she would like to come along. Of course she said yes so off the 3 of us went. I am on the topic of dresses but this expo will be brought up again in other posts.

So we were looking at dresses. After awhile they all start to be the same. Each stall has the same dresses just with slight differences. Same dress but there it’s in white and over there ivory, some have it strapless others with straps and so on. And then I saw “IT”. It was stunning. A complete one of a kind thing that most people would not like but I loved it. I can’t find a picture of it either but the word “frou frou” comes to mind. The rack size was an 8 (that won’t even fit over my thigh) and there were not change rooms either so speaking to the lady, I asked if I could make an appointment to try on the dress. She also assured me I would be able to try it on in my size or at least one I could put on just maybe not do up. Which is fine by me, I have seen heaps of people do dresses that way. So I made the appointment.

So a couple of Sundays ago now, Mum, FMIL, Pony and obviously myself as well, all headed to this particular bridal shop. After telling the lady at the desk I had an appointment we were lead around the store being shown all different gowns before we came to the one we went for. The lady put it in the change rooms and we had another look around making sure nothing else caught my eye (which Mum and FMIL were kinda hoping for as they were not 100% on it) So there was a couple of others and they got added to the change room. The ladies took their seat and I went through the embarrassing task of stripping to my underwear in front of a skinny sales lady as she got the dresses ready. The Dress was the first one to be tried on. Only this time, after I bent slightly so it could be pulled over my head I didn’t get to stand up in surprise with a gorgeous dress on. It didn’t even make it over my boobs. She then asked me to try to get into it by stepping into it, but as I predicted – didn’t even go over my thigh. I questioned her about the size after being assured at the expo they had a larger size in this design I would made the whole appointment to try on. It was a larger design she assured me. This one was the 12 not the 8 as seen at Expo.

Giving up on The Dress we tried another and another, by which time I had no self confidence left, felt even larger than I normally do and had a face as red as a tomato. My posse who was waiting patiently outside started calling in asking what was taking so long which only made my embarrassment level raise to a height I didn’t know existed, especially when the sales lady refused to give into my plea that its ok and I’ll just put my jeans and shirt back on for a hint of dignity and that’ll be that. I don’t know how many gowns I wasted my time stepping into before I almost lost it and told her enough. I pushed the dress she had in her hands away and said slightly annoyed “Seriously, do you think that’s going to fit after all this?”

She was trying to find something she thought would fit me but her tone of voice had changed from bubbly and helpful to almost fed up. We both knew time was being wasted only she was going for good customer service and didn’t want to say so first. So I got my clothes back on, thanked her for her time and walked out. It didn’t help that FMIL and Mum kept asking 100 questions and Mum got all defensive and did the mothering thing which made the tears that I had been managing to cover start to spill out which made them all fuss over me even more. If I could do something to block out memories of that morning – I would. Drugs? Sign me up.

So I was feeling pretty dam shit. I didn’t think this was meant to happen when wedding things are involved. It’s a happy time, I’m the bride aren’t I meant to be swooned over and have everything I could want at my beck and call? We went and had coffee and it was very awkward as we all had our own thoughts going on and no one wanting to say anything as I was obviously upset. Even FMIL was quiet (and this N E V E R happens!)My previous happy dress trying on seemed like forever ago. Did it actually happen? This one was exactly as I had imagined so why was I so disappointed?

I have read some shocking stories of larger ladies (14 is not even plus size!!) and their experiences on the same thing but at least my sales lady was well, nicer than the ones I had heard about. So why did I expect to be immune to this? But why should we even be subjected to it? Looking at larger brides, no offence to them, but their dresses are usually plain, lacking detail as most have just settled for what is available to them. Its like normal shopping, do they think because we are big we don’t want to wear the latest season fashion – oversized t-shirt and tracky pants is not everyone’s idea of clothing even in the area I come from, and neither are cotton collard shirts that Mums wear. I get most of clothes from City Chic (Supre for larger ladies) only unlike Supre, we don’t get the luxury of 2 tops for $10 and everything starts at a minimum of $60 or online shopping like Ezibuy where again most things are $50 and up. Surely a few centimetres of fabric doesn’t cost that much more in order to justify those prices. The population is larger, shouldn’t we stop being punished and embarrassed and stores start to cater for the majority? Either way, I am still on my workout diet in hopes of fitting into the norm and being able to shop at Live, Supre, Forever New, Sports girl (really any store) and go on shopping spree for $50 and not walk away with a scarf or hat. My biggest thing now - not be put to shame when I have to find the dress I am marrying my Mr in. Just because I am big why cant I feel beautiful or fashionable and not that I am the ugly fat chick that sticks out from a mile away?? Sure my H2B loves me as I am, but I do not love myself and that plays a big part as well.....

And The Bride Wore.....Part Uno

One of the biggest parts of the day is well the bride’s dress. It’s true. In Wedding Planning for Dummies there is a whole chapter dedicate to the mission of getting The Dress. ‘Have you got your dress yet?’ is the second question asked after ‘Have you set a date?’ The Dress issue has intrigued and quite frankly scared the shit out of me. Why? I hear you ask; surely dress shopping is one of the most exciting parts of the wedding planning process? It sure is – if you’re under a size 14. I am unfortunately not being a true to form plus size – 22. Yup I wear the same size as my age, something that isn’t meant to happen once you get past the age of 5. Sadly I have also heard of size 12/14 girls being called plus size when they’ve gone dress hunting. Wtf? How the hell does that work?

I tried on my very first dress in January when I was more a 24 than 22 and it was at a Bridal Expo. My Mum and Pony were gushing over the gowns and as much as I admired the lace overlay ivory bodice with swarkovski crystal detailing and fitted waist going into a ball gown skirt I was more nervous than I had ever been in my life when they said I should try one on. I swear I even threw up a little inside as a few scenarios rushed through my mind like a) facing the horror as nothing but sample sizes are available and I’d be told to go home and diet until the next expo so I may have a chance of slipping something over my hips and b) that was discovered while I was standing in nothing but my bra and undies in a room full of strangers while fellow Brides to Be swirled around me in all their skinny glory able to try on the dresses.

So the sales assistant helped my mother get the dress off the rack and we were directed where to go to stand in line for the changing rooms and that dress was placed in que waiting for my turn. I had butterflies in my tummy and my hands were shaking as I tried to control my breathing thinking I was going faint or throw up for real as we slowly shifted through the line. I tried to laugh my nerves off saying it’s just so real and how excited I was but honestly, it was the complete opposite. I think my Mum had some suspicions but they both had their happy faces on and I swear it was only to build up the hype for a major let down.

So I got called into the next free change room and the sales girl was actually a larger lady so the humility of standing in my underwear with all my wobbly bits and orange peel thighs was slightly less. She was a lovely lady, very bubbly and talkative and as if she knew the horror of a dress not fitting tried to easy the disappointment by explaining with the dresses you normally need one or two sizes up from your regular cloth size as they’re made with a small fit. Makes sense. So what that would leave me wanting what – a size 30??? As I bent slightly and she guided the gown over me I held my breath, waiting for it to get stuck and the line about going on a diet would soon come from this ladies lips. But suddenly I was standing upright and being tied into this stunning gown. Huh? How did that happen?

I looked in the mirror as she wrestled with the tie up back – fastening me into the ivory A-line beautiful sparkly dress and I grinned. A big smile. So when I walked out of the change room and all eyes settled on me I did a little happy dance, Pony and Mum came to gush over me and a few others complimented me on the dress. Two other sales ladies came over and did their little spill about the style, fit, what alterations could be made etc etc etc. But I wasn’t listening. I was in my own little world where my hideous size let me still get dresses like this. Much to my surprise I tried on 2 other gowns the skinnier sales lady that helped us earlier thought would look good, and they did. There were no awkward moments and I realised that loosing my wedding dress virginity was much like loosing the real thing. It’s a little awkward at first, nerves are high but after that first time the results are so worth it.

I know being a larger lady it’s all of my own doing. I refer to gyms as places people go to get sweaty, I don’t own a pair of sneakers and my diet did consist of fast food once a week and eating out at restaurants on weekends. I did pretty much no physical exercise since my pooch passed away (he was my motivation) and over the last couple of years I kind of exploded. Plus being in a relationship gave that settled feeling and you get comfortable, we spend nights on the sofa watching movies eating junk food or going out with friends drinking. It all adds up – around my waist. So when I got engaged the whole dress thing has been at the back of my mind like a nightmare and in December I made a pre-attempt at a New Years Resolution of loosing weight and getting fit. It took me 5 months of being engaged to kick start this. Each night I would walk for an hour, as best we could we cut out the takeaway/eating out and tried to cook good food every night but then with work being so busy and full on things altered and so after the expo I jumped back on the band wagon and my lovely H2B brought me my first pair of sneakers since high school, and I joined curved and saw a doctor about a healthy eating plan. That was March and we’re now mid-April and I’ve just dropped a dress size and lost just over 5kgs. So by next year I hope to be a 16/18 at least. So I am being pro-active and trying to make the changes.

That was my first wedding dress experience....

Me in the dress I loved most from the expo... It wasnt The Dress but I still love it. I lost my wedding dress virginity to this one it will always be in my heart hehehe.... And at $3100 in my heart is where it can stay!!